The United Kingdom, with its centuries-old history, has managed to hold onto some rather bizarre laws.
While many of these laws were crafted centuries ago, some remain technically enforceable today.
These quirky rules often leave people scratching their heads, especially those from other countries like the United States.
The idea that such archaic laws could still be on the books is both fascinating and hilarious. From cows to swans, here are 17 ridiculous British laws that will surely make Americans laugh.
1. Parliament Cannot Come to Work in Armor
One of the oldest and most amusing laws still on the books is the Statute Forbidding Bearing of Armor (1313).
This law, enacted by King Edward II, forbids anyone in Parliament from attending sessions while wearing armor.
The reason behind this law is rooted in medieval violence; during the 14th century, the pro-royalist Lancastrians and anti-royalist Earl of Gloucester’s party were known to physically clash in Parliament.
This statute was created to prevent such violence and ensure that debates were conducted peacefully.
While the law may seem ridiculous in modern times, it’s a reminder of how far the country has come from its violent political past.
2. No Operating a Cow While Intoxicated
Section 12 of the Licensing Act of 1872 prohibits operating a cow while intoxicated. While this law may seem strange, it’s essentially a 19th-century version of the “don’t drink and drive” law.
Back in the day, cows were often driven on public highways, much like horses or carriages. The law extends to other forms of transportation, including steam engines and horses.
It’s unclear exactly what “operating a cow” means in the legal sense, but it’s safe to assume that it’s not a good idea to be under the influence when handling livestock.
3. Don’t Get Drunk in a Pub
Another law stemming from the Licensing Act of 1872, Section 12, makes it illegal to be drunk in a public house or pub.
The fine for violating this law is £200, and it applies not just to pubs but any public space. While having a pint or two with friends is a staple of British culture, it’s important to make sure you can hold your liquor.
This law is not only about public decorum but also aimed at preventing public drunkenness from becoming a problem.
4. No Gambling in the Library
Although this law was officially repealed in 2005, it still deserves a mention. The Library Offences Act of 1898 once made it illegal to gamble in a library.
Apparently, people in the UK used to gather in libraries for more than just reading. The law may sound ridiculous today, but it highlights how the public spaces of the past were often used for more than their intended purposes.
Even though this law is no longer in effect, the Library Offences Act still prohibits using abusive language or refusing to leave the library after hours.
5. No Walking Your Cow Down the Street During the Day
If you ever feel like taking your pet cow for a stroll in the UK, make sure you do it after dark. The Metropolitan Streets Act of 1867 forbids walking a cow down the street between 10:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
The reason behind this rule isn’t entirely clear, but it’s likely to prevent traffic disruptions and to avoid cows blocking streets during peak hours.
If you must walk your cow, do it under the cover of night just be sure to clean up after it, as the Highway Act of 1980 makes it illegal to leave cow dung on the roads.
6. No Taxi Riding With the Plague
In the modern age, this law seems like a relic of the past. However, Section 33 of the Public Health Act of 1984 states that anyone with a notifiable disease, such as the plague, smallpox, or cholera, cannot use public transport without notifying the driver.
If they fail to do so, they could face a fine. While the plague is no longer a pressing issue, this law serves as a precautionary measure, ensuring that individuals with contagious diseases do not inadvertently spread them on public transport.
7. Don’t Shake Your Rug Into the Street
According to the Metropolitan Street Act of 1839, shaking your rug or doormat into the street is illegal unless it’s before 8:00 a.m.
This law was likely enacted to prevent dust and debris from littering the streets and causing a nuisance to pedestrians.
Though it may seem harmless, a casual rug shake could land you in trouble if you do it too late in the morning.
8. No Ding Dong Ditch
Anyone who has ever played the prank of knocking on someone’s door and running away aka “ding dong ditch” might want to think twice before trying it in the UK.
The Metropolitan Act of 1839 makes this innocent game illegal. It may seem harmless, but it’s considered a form of harassment, and if you’re caught, you could face legal consequences.
It’s a quirky law that demonstrates how seriously the British take public order and nuisance prevention.
9. Don’t Wear a Police Costume
In the UK, dressing up as a police officer for Halloween or a costume party is illegal. The Police Act of 1996 makes it a punishable offense to dress up as a member of the police force or the armed forces.
While this might seem a little overboard, the law was designed to prevent impersonation and protect the reputation of law enforcement.
So, if you’re planning to wear a police costume, make sure it’s not in the UK.
10. No Handling Salmon Suspiciously
The Salmon Act of 1986 prohibits the suspicious handling of salmon and other fish such as smelt and eel.
What exactly qualifies as “suspicious” is unclear, but the law was enacted to ensure that the salmon trade was conducted ethically and that fish were not acquired through illegal means.
The law also makes it illegal to buy salmon that was taken or killed unlawfully, which shows how seriously the UK takes its fish industry.
11. Don’t Walk Around With a Plank of Wood
If you’re planning to carry a plank of wood through a metro area in the UK, think again. The Metropolitan Police Act prohibits carrying a plank of wood down the street.
However, there are exceptions if you’re transporting it from a store to a vehicle, it’s fine. The law seems to be a quirky way to prevent people from carrying potentially hazardous materials through crowded urban areas.
12. No Kite Flying in Public
Although kite flying is a fun and harmless activity, it’s illegal in certain areas of the UK. According to the Metropolitan Police Act, flying a kite in a public space could be considered a public nuisance, particularly if it obstructs pedestrian traffic.
The law likely stems from a time when large crowds and busy streets made it impractical to fly kites in certain areas. So, while you can still enjoy kite flying, be mindful of where you do it.
13. Beached Whales Must Be Offered to the Monarch
In the UK, any beached whale or sturgeon is considered the property of the reigning monarch.
This law dates back to Edward II, who declared that the “head and spermaceti of a whale” should be offered to the King or Queen.
It’s a strange but intriguing law, and it’s not the only place with similar rules. Iceland also has laws regarding beached whales that consider them royal property.
14. Keep Your Pigsty in the Back
The Town Police Clauses Act of 1847 states that pigsties cannot be placed in the front yard. If you keep pigs, they must be housed in a location that is not visible to your neighbors.
Additionally, pigs must be properly fenced in to avoid becoming a public nuisance. It’s a law designed to maintain the aesthetic of residential areas while also preventing potential issues with unruly livestock.
15. Pets Cannot Mate With Royal Animals
In one of the more peculiar royal laws, it’s illegal to let your pets mate with animals owned by the royal family.
This law was in effect until 1965, and up until that time, violating it could even result in the death penalty.
While it’s unlikely that most people have the chance to mingle with royal pets, this law emphasizes the importance of maintaining the royal family’s status.
16. No Sliding on Icy Streets
If you enjoy sliding down icy streets for fun, you might want to reconsider your plans in the UK.
The Metropolitan Police Act makes it illegal to slide on icy streets, as it’s considered a public nuisance.
The law is aimed at ensuring safety and preventing accidents, although it’s likely that only extreme cases of sliding would lead to enforcement.
17. Don’t Harm the Swans
Swans have been owned by the British monarchy for centuries, and harming one is a serious offense.
According to a law dating back to the 12th century, any harm done to a swan could result in hefty fines, even though the law is largely symbolic today.
The punishment for killing a swan can be up to £5,000, a significant sum. Interestingly, the law only applies to the “mute swan,” as other types of swans are considered fair game.
Alicia Richards